Sometimes I wonder how I'm even able to stand upright. You know, without a spine and stuff.
Case in point...
Today I went to get a very overdue eyebrow wax. Like birds had taken up residence in the out of control nests over my eyes, kind of overdue.
That's not important to the story. Just makes for an interesting visual.
Anyways, so I'm right in the middle of having the hair ripped off my face when the waxer's friend waltzes into the room and strikes up a conversation. Which, leads to the total distraction of said waxer, leading her to DRIP HOT WAX INTO MY EYE?!?!?!
Uhhh lady? I don't think that goes there.
If you're anything like my sister, your immediate reaction to that is, 'I hope you didn't pay for that.'
Oh yes... I did.
'Eight bucks for the partial blinding? No Problem! Here's 10... keep the change!'
At least I can be thankful it was only my eyebrows I was waxing!
I feel like since it's my TENTH update it should be somthing momentus. Like it should come with a huge giveaway, or like.. commerative t-shirts or something. That's actually really good... I'm going to keep that in mind for my 100th. I'd place your order now, I have a feeling the demand for these tees is going to be OUT OF CONTROL. Plus it's probably going to have a pic of me on it, and you don't want to miss the opportunity to proudly display my face on your chest.
My tenth update will not include commemorative tees, but at least I actually accomplished some stuff. Which is good because it would've been pretty embarrassing to have nothing since I've been MIA for 3 weeks.
So without further ado...
44)Get a Drastic Haircut
I think this may have been a symptom of my quater life crisis, but it totally backfired because I ended up with 'Mom Hair'.
Long <strike>hair</strike> story short, I had long dark hair and then this happened....
and now I don't.
70)Win the Lottery
Now don't go making up stories about how we're distant relatives or old grade school buddies or whatever, because I already spent the $20.
On more lottery tickets.
Which I lost on.
79)Do Our Taxes on Time
Yes we did get a return and yes it is already spent.
On more lottery tickets.
I'm actually pretty sure I've crossed something else off the list as well, but I'm so terrified of jinxing it that I'm going to have to refrain from bragging about it this week.
If you'd like to see the entire updated list you can find it HERE or over there -----> somewhere.
Recently my husband let it slip to the family that I have a blog. Presumably because he was looking for an easy out bursting with pride and adoration. Since that time they have been dying to click over here and find I've made them famous by posting about them.
They haven't said as much, but they don't have to.
I can see it their eyes.
So here it is kids. You can thank me with gifts. Expensive ones.
My absolute favourite thing about my family knowing about my little corner of the internet is, without a doubt, their ability to work it into ANY conversation.
ME: Sean FINALLY cut a tooth.
Family Member: I know. I saw the post about it on your blog. He's having a rough time with it, eh?
ME: How was your day?
Family Member: YOU HAVE A BLOG!!
They also thoroughly enjoy the deep shade of red my face turns when they tell anyone who will listen about the existence of this blog. And they ALWAYS follow up that revelation with the phrase, "It's ACTUALLY really good." Don't worry family, I'm not reading into your emphasize of the word ACTUALLY.
But in completely unrelated news, I will ACTUALLY be putting the money I planned to use for your birthday presents this year towards a new laptop good charity. Because I know you'd ACTUALLY like it that way! Your welcome!
So while I had been gallivanting around ignoring my blog, I actually received a couple of awards from some awesome, much more dedicated, fellow bloggers. So I'm going to post about them one at a time... you know... cause I'm desperate for content.
So without further ado...
The first award is the Beautiful Blogger Award.
I was able to scam this award by not posting photos of myself on this blog. However, I'm going to frame it and put it up in the bedroom like I won a Miss Universe pageant, because of my strong performance in the swimsuit portion. Don't judge me.
This little confidence burst was sent over my way from Gnetch over at Thank Goodness For The Good Ones . Now I think that's an awesome title... she thinks it's too long. And possibly more suited to a porn site. If anything that fact is just leaving her room to grow! So do me a favour and go over there and tell her how awesome her blog title and CONTENT are. But be prepared to get pranked a time or to if you stick around :P
Of course, as with any good thing, there's a catch to this award. There's rules. I have to tell you 7 things you don't know about me and choose 7 fabulous bloggers to award this award.
So stick with me here guys...
Seven Things You Don't Know About Me
1)I have a little nick out of my left ear. My mother used to tell me that it's where the stork bit me. I know right?!? Too cute.
2)Following that theme, I also have a dent on my temple that's the result of the chicken pox. My Grandfather used to tell me it's because I was shot in the head and don't remember. I know right?!?! Little creepy Gramps.
3)We call boogers, piggies. I know it's only number 3 and I'm really struggling. My son is sitting in the corner picking his nose, I guess he's my muse.
4)I LOVE LOVE LOVE the musical stylings of Will Smith. And I mean LOVE. This white girl can make a total fool of herself rapping EVERY word to EVERY one of his songs.
5)My worst fear is of something bad happening to my kids. A close second is that the little girl from The Ring is real.
6)It has taken me LITERALLY weeks to finish this post, and I still had to cop out and use that as a point on the list.
Now it's time to give it up!
1)Jen @ My Inner Foodzilla This award goes not only to her, but also to her very well dressed pillow.
2)Connie @ ConnieDom She's off on some adventure for the month which gives you plenty of time to have a look around her place and prepare yourself for all the awesome she'll be bringing back with her.
3)Laura @ The Bignell Family Her family photos are ADORABLE and as if having cute kids isn't enough, she has Uncle Jesse doing the beach boys on blog playlist!
4)Lilly @ A Lil Story I live for her 'Not Me Monday' posts. I thought I had my hands full with my 2 boys. She has 3, 2 of which are TWINS! Makes for some fun reads!
5)Vic @ A Little Bit of Vic Her knack for finding great products has been a definite problem for my shopping addiction!
Alright that's all this award can suck out of me! It sure beat doing the laundry though!
Last friday my boss called me all in a panic because my maternity leave had caused my place of business to crumble down around her, and only I could right the wrongs that had been done. Either that or they needed a little extra help and didn't want to hire and train a temp to work until I was due to return in less then a month.
She talks fast and I missed some of the finer details. It really could've been either.
But regardless of the reason why, she was asking me to return to work early, and was willing to work around my husband's schedule so the kids wouldn't have to go to daycare early. I'm not sure what was possessing me, maybe a desire to have adult conversations, or the fact that I had just gotten 4 new shirts I wanted to show off, but I agreed to return on a part time basis until my official return date.
Then I hung up the phone and balled my eyes out.
What was I thinking?? Sean's not even one yet!! That means he still has lots of firsts that I could potentially miss! I knew the day would come that I would have to return to work. It was either that or usher in the day where I have to tell the kids they can't play organised sports, or have decent clothes and fun toys, or eat. And they have just become too accustomed to that hoity, toity lifestyle. But I thought I had more time to emotionally prepare myself.
It became very clear that I hadn't emotionally prepared myself Tuesday evening when I realized that my FIRST day back would mean missing a FIRST in Sean's life.
Sean's FIRST St. Patrick's Day!!!! Cue the tears.
OK OK so I realize that St. Patrick's day is maybe not a holiday that's intended to be celebrated by 10.5 month olds. BUT I BOUGHT HIM A THEMED SHIRT!!! It's green and yellow and says 'Shamrock and Roll" and I didn't get to put it on him. Not only that but I didn't even get to SEE it on him until 5 in the afternoon. Had I been properly celebrating this beautiful holiday I wouldn't even have been able to see straight by then!
Alas, such is the life of a working mom. Right now I have to make the most of the time we all have together until I'm running that company and can use my big, fat pay cheques to BUY their love.
I know you feel like you're setting yourself up for disappointment by putting your trust in me again.
I understand and together we can mend the wound I've left you with.
Because I am for real this time back in the game.
Here are my excuses reasons I found it acceptable to make it to march 15th and only have 2 posts for the month.
1) My children look like this...
(Oh get off your high horse. I HAD to take a pic of my sick child because he looked so.freaking.cute.)
This, of course, is Sean, but Sawyer is sporting a very similar look made even sadder with the addition of his stomach contents running down his chin and jammies.
*That picture alone wasn't enough to guilt you in to forgiving me? Have you no soul?? Fine...
2)For whatever reason I got it into my head that I HAD to post a 101 update before anything else. And since that post has to include a picture of my haircut, and I don't have time for such trivial things as, 'looking acceptable', I could not possibly create that post. Thankfully however, I realized that no one is really interested in those posts but me, and have decided that it's ok for me to write about something else until my next good hair day. Rest assured though, that those updates WILL return.
And so concludes my extensive list of reasons I've slacked off.
Now stop pretending your mad at me and give me a little looooove!
My husband thought that I should let everyone know why my blog has SUCKED lately. This is how he phrased it.. 'You should let your fans know where you are!' He's delightful :P
So where I have been is... without a computer. My 'son' (we're waiting on the maternity test) spilled a coffee on my laptop. Oh yes he did. And when I took it to the repair shop to see if there was anything that could be done, the kind gentlemen praised me on my coffee choice based on the computer's aroma then told me I was effed.
Basically I've got myself a really expensive air freshener. Thanks Sean.
So I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a little while til I get back up and running. I'll try to make it worth the wait!