You Know You're A Mom When...

You shower with 3 rubber ducks, a rubber octopus, a rubber crab, a plastic scuba diver, a submarine and a book, because putting them all away would cut into your shower time.

And shower time is MOMMY TIME!

101 in 1001 Update #4

You didn't think I forgot, didja?

I can't believe I've been at this for 4 whole weeks. That's like 3.5 weeks longer then I thought I'd make it!

Here it is......

82) Fit into size 6 jeans

My younger sister is a dedicated follower of this blog, and as such, is very familiar with my list. So this year she took advantage of this knowledge to pick some fab Christmas gifts. I got Alice in Wonderland (it's on my list of books to read), and a pair of size 6 jeans.

I've been sporting a size 10 since shortly after I created life the first time. So I - WAS - FLOORED when those puppies just slipped on.

If you had asked me 8 months ago if I thought I would ever think of breast feeding as a blessing, I would've wiped the tears from my eyes and the blood from my nipples and answered you with some sort of profanity.

Oh how far I've come.

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As always you can find the list HERE and there <------- (on the sidebar under the header '101 in 1001')

My Sincerest Apologies

I can't believe how insensitive I've been.

Here I go announcing my plans to venture into a mall on CHRISTMAS EVE, and I didn't come back to report that I managed to get out alive?

I can only imagine that you were so consumed with fear over my well being that you couldn't enjoy the holidays!

Well let me put your mind at ease so you can enjoy ringing in the New Year. I survived.

I also survived my first ever Boxing Day shopping excursion.

Boy was I excited to learn that the Christmas get together my Grandpa hosts every year on Boxing Day had been moved to New Years Day. The opening in my schedule meant I would be free to take advantage of the mind blowing deals I'd heard so much about all these years.

I'd been looking forward to this day for 24 years, so 2 near accidents and a half an hour search for a parking spot didn't bother me. On the contrary, it fueled my excitement. If people were willing to face manslaughter charges to get a parking spot 15 miles from the mall, the deals must be incredible!

I was on cloud 9 as a strolled through the front door of that mall. I couldn't wait to get at those deals. In my head I could already see myself going home with my purchases. Hanaging up my new wardrobe while my husband hung up his new big screen t.v. No biggie.

Let me tell you a thing or two about Boxing Day shopping.

IT'S - A - SCAM.

All the same signs were up from our Christmas Eve shopping adventure, except instead of saying 'Holiday Special' they now read 'Boxing Day Special'.

I walked out of the mall purchase-less and feeling dirty and used.

I can't wait to do it all again next year!

101 in 1001 Update#3

OH-EM-GEE!

I can't believe it's frickin' wednesday already!

I'm so upset I'm channeling my 15 year old self to try and get my point across.

Another week, another EPIC fail. Of course.

I just poured over the list trying to find something I could quickly knock off the list and... once again... EPIC fail.

Then I remembered #47. Sweet, forgiving #47.

I still haven't come up with something to replace #47.

The heavens opened and a new #47 floated down and smacked me in the head.

47) Have a week where you do nothing off the list.

Oh wait...

Completing this would mean crossing it off the list and then I haven't really completed it so I have to uncross it, but then I'm back to having completed it. Cross it off... SH*T.

So basically, to sum up this week, not only did I NOT cross a thing of this list but I still haven't replaced #47.

Which means this week is an... all together now.... EPIC fail.

And with that last use of the word EPIC I will return to my 24 year old self and get my butt in gear for next week.

It's About Time You Got Here

For weeks I've been going back and forth on whether or not to make the switch from Wordpress to Blogger. A quick consult from google informed that this switch is absolutely THE WORST thing a human being can do. It's illogical and ignorant and here I am. In the end my vanity conquered my sense of logic and I made the switch.

So here we are. All my posts made the cut but due to some translating issues comments did not. Regardless, I'm happy to be settling in over here at Blogger.

I have to say though, the moving process meant lots of trip back to Wordpress and I couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt every time I snuck back in there to pick up a link. Wordpress gave me 2 and a half of the greatest months of my life and I'll forever be grateful, but we're not the same people/blog hosting programs we were.

I can't change that.

All I can do is move on with my life and hope WP does the same.

So I'm saying goodbye to Wordpress, but hopefully not to the people that took a few mins out of their day to hang out with me there.

Come on in and join my in the dark side that is.... BLOGGER.

Oops! I Did It Again

Jeez if I'm not careful this blog is just going to be is a series of disappointing '101 in 1001' updates.

You deserve more.

But I'm here on more pressing matters. The little calendar on the bottom of my screen claims it's the 19th?

For real?

Only 6 days until Christmas and I still have a mile long list of things to do to make sure my children remember this time of the year as the best frickin time of their lives. Yes, I realize their 2 years old and 7 months old, and won't remember this time of the year next month let alone in 30 years when they're doing this all with their families, but I really don't see how that's any of your business.

Somehow this happens to me every year. I started shopping in July! Literally in July. But between being over excited and giving people their presents early and my tendency to overdue things just a tad, a Christmas eve payday will see me fighting the crowds at the mall.

I am particularly excited for this trip because I had nothing better to do that day. You know except for wrapping all my presents (which includes a tradition brought to me by my in-laws of wrapping all the stocking stuffers), driving 2 hours to my uncle's house for Christmas eve dinner and of course driving 2 hours home to open christmas eve presents and get our milk and cookies ready so Santa doesn't jip us.

So I'm going to have to make a plea to all of you. Please, please be the responsible, considerate parents I dream of someday being and get all your Christmas shopping done by the 23rd.

I really don't want to end up on Santa's naughty list, but I'll do what I have to, to survive Christmas eve at the mall.

101 Things Update #2

I know what you're thinking. No posts for a whole week, she must've been checking things off that list like mad.

And of course you're wrong.

Are you ready for the excuses to come rolling in?

Too bad here they are.

My kids are sick. Meaning that something slimy is oozing out of every orifice in their body and apparantly it is part of my motherly duties to wipe said slime in a timely matter, before it turns into a crunchy coating. They should tell you about that when you sign up for this parenting thing.

We have already begun our Christmas celebrations. We went to my Aunt-in-law's (real term?) place on sunday where my cousin-in-law got all dressed as Santa, complete with a sac full of presents so that Sawyer could cower in the corner furthest from him, Sean could stare blankly at him and my nephew could discover his deep rooted fear of heavy set men with beards and spend the afternoon screaming and balling everytime he was brought near the poor guy. But, have no fear, they bought the suit so we will have another chance to do this all again next year.

I actually have one less goal to achieve then I did last week. Before I made this list my hubby and I had agreed to replace our broken stove instead of having it repaired because we couldn't justify the cost of repairs. That was until we accidentally had a service call. A little while ago Kevin did the cable for an appliance repair shop and when he ran our stove woes by the owner he seemed to know exactly what the problem was and booked us a service call. We were still pretty set on a new stove so we were going to cancel the appointment, but being the responsible young adults we are, it slipped our minds. Which of course means the gentlemen showed up when our kitchen was at it's messiest and we were in our pjs. Long story short the long 6 months we've spent without a working stove has come to an end. Which also means so have my excuses for needing to order pizza. Thaaaaanks stove guys :(

But don't write me off just yet. I was able to put a line through #97;

97)Tip a great server 100%

That's right, at Christmas time and everything. I am BALLIN'. Sure the bill was only $7.29. And sure the server probably thought I was pretentious for giving her exactly $7.29. But you guys are counting on me! I had to cross something off the list! The things I do for you guys.

So that's all for this week. Except that I would like to replace #47. Sure I could run out and get the kids a little toy stove so that I could cross it off, but I can't bring myself to cheapen our relationship like that. So any ideas of a new goal?

101 Things Update #1

Well ladies and gentlemen, it's been one whole week since I posted the list and so it's time for an update. Here, in no particular order, are the items I was able to cross off my list in the past week;

66)Finish this list in one day.

If your struggling at all to believe that I actually did this please go back and note the dramatic decrease in sass as the list goes on. By the time I had made this goal I had virtually lost the will to go on. In a desperate attempt to make this dream a reality I asked my husband for help in coming up with 35 more goals. He has always known this blog exists but never really had any interest in checking it out until I explained this list to him. Thursday morning I sent him the link to my blog and took Sean out to do some Christmas shopping. When I came home I experienced the fallout.

Him:I read your blog, you're a good writer.

Me:Thanks. Wait, did you read the whole blog or just the list?

Him:The whole thing.

Me:Oh.

Him:I couldn't understand all the references to the hot sauce until I got all the way to the beginning.

Me:Yeah about that....

I'm going to pay for that damn dinner for the rest of my life.

8 ) Have 75 views of this blog in one day.

This one was very important to me, because I base my entire self worth on how many people care to find out about my trips to grocery store or minor mental breakdowns.

I actually achieved this goal the day after I posted it. I think I'm going to have to go ahead and thank facebook for this one. I posted a link as my status and my highest daily stat went from 39 it 98. So thanks homies!

38)Inspire at least one other person to make a '101 in 1001' list.

I'm crossing this one off the list with the help of a young, up and coming new photographer named Kandice. You are definitely going to to want to follow her blog not only for updates in her list but because she is, for sure, the next Annie Leibovitz, and you'll be able to say you knew her before she was taking controversial pictures of teenage megastars and the newborn pics of Brangelina's 17th child. Her list can be found on her photography blog................ HERE!

And just as of last night I can link you to another 101 list made by a very good friend HERE. Get over there and harass her for me, so that she keeps up her list! Specifically mention the dancing at a bar thing.... I've been trying for 5 years to get her to do that!

Basically, to sum up, everyone's doing a list but you. So jump on the band wagon and send me the link because I LOVE these things!

The updated list can be found HERE or at anytime over there <---- in the left hand column under the title.... 101 in 1001.

I Hope He Gets His Passport In Time

I think this is something that every parent has happen to them at one point in their parenting career, but this was a first for us.

It's my fault really. After I realized I had a little grinch on my hands, I did everything in my power to MAKE him love the holidays. The boys eat, sleeps and breaths Christmas.

Yesterday in the passport line Sawyer looked up at me all excited and said (very loudly), 'Mommy look... Santa Clause!'

The white bearded, jolly looking gentlemen behind us in line pretended not to notice, but I knew the damage was done.

Disappointment

I almost didn't want to publish my earlier post. I wanted to save it so that I had something to post on a day that I didn't have something so blog worthy going on.

Because today was passport picture day. I have been dreading passport picture day for months. We are taking a trip in January that we have been planning since the summer and I have put off getting our passports until a month before the trip, because the very notion of this day would send me into a fit of cold sweats and eye ticks.

Then I started this blog. Suddenly, through the shadows of terror, I could see a glimmer of light. Epic hissy fits and hours spent giving a photographer the same symptoms of passport photo day that I was experiencing, make good blogging material. As today inched closer and closer and I started to get almost excited. I found myself whispering advice to my children like, 'If you get frustrated on passport photo day, just start throwing things. It will make you feel much better!' and 'We can only afford to take one of you on vacation, first person to make the photographer cry gets to come'.

I wasted my breath.

We took them in, they sat straight in the chair, closed their mouths and looked blankly at the camera. Just the way the government likes it.

It's so disappointing to think I'm raising well behaved children

"You Are What I Never Knew I Always Wanted"*

*-From the 1997 movie 'Fools Rush In'

Without the use of language or full motor control, Sean finds little ways to show me he loves me every single day.

He wakes up every 3 hours all night long.

He won't take a bottle keeping me from leaving him for any more then 2 hours.

He throws up promptly after each meal.

He takes my putting him down to clean as a personal insult.

I'm tired, secluded, stinky and living in chaos, but I've never felt so loved!

101 Things In 1001 Days

I was going to make this a ‘210 Things to do in 2010′ list, but in looking for inspiration I stumbled upon a ‘101 things to do in 1001 days’ challenge. This seemed a lot more realistic so I’m going to give it a try!
Start Date: December 3rd, 2009
End Date: August 30th, 2012
Incomplete
Complete
1)Write 450 posts for this blog (40/450)
2)Knit my family stockings. Turns out this is much easier said then done, or so says the knitting needles I bought 2 months that have remained untouched except to be used as WMD’s by my son. (0/4)
3)Run a marathon. This one was inspired by the contestants on ‘The Biggest Loser’ and my dreams to have Bob get all sweaty running the final mile with me. I’m pretty sure this is exactly how my marathon run will play out.
4)Take a trip out of the country. With one already booked for January 8th I feel fairly confident that I’ll be able to do this one. (Good times)
5)Rachel Ray Week. For months I’ve been talking about doing a full week of recipes from my Rachel Ray cookbook and for whatever reason it keeps not happening. We’ll see who comes out a winner that week, Rachel or the hot sauce. (0/7)
6)Get Sean sleeping through the night.
7)Potty train Sawyer.
8 )Have 75 views of this blog in one day. Rest assured wordpress does not count my trips to this blog as views, so August 29th, 2012 I may be begging for your help on this one. (No Begging Required)
9)Write a novel. Why not?
10)Watch all 6 seasons of ‘Sex and the City’ (0/6)
11)Have my Christmas shopping done by December 1st
12)Make a trip to Ottawa to visit my best! Miss you Erin!
13)Sell something on Kijiji. I just feel like this is something I need to do.
14)Potty train Sean.
15)Get a new camera. Which I will keep away from my children. I’ve learned my lesson.
16)Get a copy of photoshop.
17)Take a digital camera course.
18)Take a photoshop course.
19)Enroll Sawyer in a sport.
20)Enroll Sean in a sport.
21)Have both kids enrolled in swim lessons.
22)Visit Calgary for the stampede
23)Add 20 new facebook friends. (4/20)
24)Teach Sean to walk.
25)Read at least 25 of the books on this list (1/25)
26)Get drunk. Having been either preggo or with a child under 1 for 3 years now, I feel I deserve it (Thoroughly Enjoyed)
27)Get a custom layout for this blog. In other words ‘Pimp My Blog’
28)Donate to the Cancer Society.
29)Donate to the Heart and Stroke Foundation.
30)Get another tattoo
31)Send a care package to a friend. Hoping it’s you? I’m not opposed to bribes
32)Make a will. Hoping you in it? I’m not opposed to bribes
33)Open RSP’s
34)Sleep outside.
35)Take my kids to the zoo and an amusement park in one weekend.
36)Take my kids to a museum. Seems like something a ‘good parent’ would do.
37)Make a dream board.
38)Inspire at least one other person to make a ‘101 in 1001′ list. (Wanna see 'em?)
39)Buy a bigger house.
40)See Wicked live
41)Not touch my computer for 24 executive hours.
42)Become debt free (except mortgage)
43)Go to a wedding. I guess this one’s out of my control. Someone get married!
44)Get a drastic haircut </strike> (Ended up with 'Mom Hair')
45)Get a spray tan
46)Take the kids to see my parents 3 times. (0/3)
47)Be the SITS feature blogger.
48)Spend a whole night playing video games with Kevin
49)Blog everyday for a month
50)Start my Christmas shopping on Boxing Day
51)Become an airmiles Gold member
52)Get to 75000 shoppers optimum points (0/75000)
53)Eat dinner in everyday for a month
54)Eat out every meal for a day
55)Get Domino neutered (Sorry Domino)
56)See a baby in it’s first 24hrs of life.
57)Eat at the Olive Garden
58)Make dinner for my in-laws
59)Learn to make goulash
60)Go on 3 weekend getaways with Kevin (0/3)
61)Have my wedding dress dry cleaned
62)Make a cake from scratch
63)Fill in 100 pages (50 front and back) of a paper journal. (0/100)
64)Finish Sawyer’s baby book
65)Start and finish Sean’s baby book
66) Finish this list in one day (It almost killed me)
67)Take the boys to the drive in
68)Plan and execute a very special 30th birthday for Kevin. I’m going to have to keep the details vague on this one.
69)Learn to make sticky buns from scratch
70)Win the lottery</strike> (About freakin time)
71)Have $5000 saved. (0/5000)
72)Finish watching ‘The West Wing’
73)Go ice skating
74)Buy an SUV
75)Have a shopping weekend in the states
76)Get a new bed set
77)Cook my family a four course meal. Hot sauce optional.
78)Invest in some quality MAC makeup (coverup, blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara) with some professional advice – Randelle shopping trip? (0/5 items)
79)Do our taxes on time</strike>  (I just hope the gov't doesn't expect this to become a regular thing)
80)Subscribe to a magazine
81)Watch all of Audrey Hepburn’s movies (0/28 I did not realize there were so many)
82)Fit into size 6 jeans (Believe it or not)
83)Plant a vegetable garden
84)Send out Christmas Cards
85)Have Sawyer and Sean pick out presents for the tree of life.
86)Host a dinner party
87)Make Kat & Kevin scrapbook <3
88)Go to an NHL game
89)Get a new job
90)Buy a ticket in the expensive local lottery
91)Replace the bedroom windows
92)Stand on the glass floor at the CN Tower
93)Have a whole day without timeouts. No matter what they do
94)Visit a family member when it’s not a family function(PLAYDATE)
95)BBQ a meal by myself
96)Buy an expensive bag
97)Tip a great server 100% (BALLIN')
98)Sleep until noon.
99)Go shopping in the middle of the night
100)Secret goal
101)Make a new list for my next 1001 days (1/101)
I’m going to try to do a weekly update on my progress but apparently I’m going to be very busy for the next 1001 days.
Wish me luck!

I'm Sensing a Pattern

This evening my husband walked in the door, screwed up his face and asked what's that smell?

I made stir fry for dinner again.