Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Day in the life

3:40AM - My alarm goes off. Since I'm not even sure that's a real time, I hit snooze, hoping that when it goes off again, the clock will say something much more reasonable.. like noon or something.

3:49AM - It doesn't. I get out of bed anyway.

3:50AM - I pee, and check my email. That's right kids, I multi-task at 3:50am. Try not to compare yourself to me, we're all created different and that's not your fault.

3:51-4:25ishAM - I straighten my hair, and ears and whatever else gets in my way while I'm trying to perform this activity half asleep.

4:25-4:35AM - Apply make-up. Yeah it takes me 10 whole mins, but it's worth it... I clean up good ;)

4:35AM - I sniff my jeans to see if I can get another day out of them. It's rare that I can't.

4:36AM - I irritate the piss out of Kevin by bumping into, or stubbing my toe on everything in our bedroom, in an attempt to find my clothes and get dressed in the dark (you know, so I don't bother him).

4:45AM - I start looking for my keys.

4:55AM - I wake Kevin up to ask him if he's seen my keys.

4:55.5AM - He asks if they're on the kitchen table. I say that's the first place I looked.

4:50AM - I start stomping around the house and making aggravated noises.

4:51AM - Kevin gets out of bed and finds my keys on the kitchen table. I accuse him of planting them there just to make an ass out of me. He totally would too.

4:52-5:05 - I load the car with diaper bags, lunches and kids.

5:15 - I stop at Tim Horton's. Obvs! It's 5:15 *EH AM* and I'm Canadian.

5:30 - Arrive at the babysitters. You all know that story! 

5:45AM - 2:30PM - Get berated and walked all over.

2:45PM - Arrive at babysitters and immediately start making empty promises to get my kids in the car.

3:05PM - Arrive at home and feel the wrath of my empty promises.

3:05PM - 8PM - Laundry, cleaning, cooking, ICarly watching, eating, baths.

Just kidding! Anyone who works full-time, with 2 toddlers who says they do all that is lying. Or a robot. Probably a robot.

8PM - 8:30PM - Convince Sawyer there's nothing to be afraid of in his room, and disappoint him repeatedly by telling him he can't sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room. That is apparently, the absolute worst news you can give a 2 year old.

8:30PM - Shower.

9PM - Sit down and spend some time with Kevin, because I like to run off at the mouth and say things like, "Without the love Kevin and I formed in the beginning, we wouldn't even have kids. So I feel like one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is to take care of that relationship." And then people are all "Awww that's so true!" So I feel obligated to back it up by sitting in the same room as him while watching assorted forensic investigation shows <3. You're welcome kids!

10:30/11:00 - Stumble around the house just praying that I end up in bed before I fall asleep.

Now I want you to know that I'm not telling you this as an excuse for why I blog so infrequently. I'm telling you this for the pity and sympathy. Let me have. I mean really lay it on thick.

And use words like 'unbelievable', 'incredible' and 'sassy'


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

What?!?! None Of You Thought To Warn Me?

Sometimes I just have to sit back and look in awe at my own stupidity.

Not only do I let myself think "I wish Sawyer wanted to stay with me instead of going to the babysitters!" I actually sit my ass down and WRITE IT DOWN FOR THE WHOLE FRICKIN WORLD TO SEE.

I mean, COME ON. Have I never heard the phrase 'be careful what you wish for???'

I was just BEGGING for that to come back and bite me in the ass. Really.

So NOW instead of him being psyched to have a fun day with friends and me feeling a sense contentment I have to push him off me, look him in those little blue eyes, while he's screaming and BEGGING me to stay and walk out the door.

Yeah that's way better IDIOT!

Then you know what that child does to me? Looks me right back in the eye when I pick him up and tells me that he doesn't want to go with me. He wants to stay.

Of course you do kid.

Because any other way would ease the guilt.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Paying the Price

I just took out the garbage, which in and of itself, is newsworthy.

But it gets better. 

As I'm hauling the bag out of the garbage can I happen to notice a cupcake. Upon closer inspection I find that there are, in fact, 3 cupcakes in the garbage. 

Oh it get's even better...

ALL of the cupcakes have the icing and sprinkles gnawed of the top. TODDLER STYLE!

You may take this time to judge me for not keeping a closer eye on my child. I'll be spending the evening peeling him off the wall.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Fastest Year Of My Life

One year ago today we discovered that Sawyer had broken my camera.

We discovered it at 8:29am when we tried to use it to take a picture of his newborn baby brother.

Somehow, between that moment and today, a whole year disappeared.

Since Sean only started sleeping through the night like last week, most of this past year is a blur to me. Soooo instead of a long profound post about how having a second child has changed my life and how complete Sean has made me feel, I'm going to post a glimpse into his life thus far through photos.

Here's the photo we used to introduce Sean to facebook. MEANINGFUL!

They're all mine <3

The day Sean met his big cuz Gavin. I'm just going to have to go ahead and apologize now to all of you ladies out their having little girls... I can only hold these heartbreakers back for so long. They're going to be bigger then Bieber.

About a month after Sean was born a good friend (from Mandy Taggart Photography) took some professional shots of the fam. If you look closely at this one you can see the wet spot on the dark blanket where Sean peed.

If you look closely at this one, well ok, I guess you don't have to look that closely.


And this one? This one made up for all that....

Don't worry, he had his H1N1 immunizations before we threw him in there.


Soaking up the sun in Cuba. Don't hate him cuz you ain't him.

'What do you mean I got Daddy's hairline?'

And here he is today...

How if you`ll excuse me, I have to go cry myself to sleep over how fast they`re growing up.