She talks fast and I missed some of the finer details. It really could've been either.
But regardless of the reason why, she was asking me to return to work early, and was willing to work around my husband's schedule so the kids wouldn't have to go to daycare early. I'm not sure what was possessing me, maybe a desire to have adult conversations, or the fact that I had just gotten 4 new shirts I wanted to show off, but I agreed to return on a part time basis until my official return date.
Then I hung up the phone and balled my eyes out.
What was I thinking?? Sean's not even one yet!! That means he still has lots of firsts that I could potentially miss! I knew the day would come that I would have to return to work. It was either that or usher in the day where I have to tell the kids they can't play organised sports, or have decent clothes and fun toys, or eat. And they have just become too accustomed to that hoity, toity lifestyle. But I thought I had more time to emotionally prepare myself.
It became very clear that I hadn't emotionally prepared myself Tuesday evening when I realized that my FIRST day back would mean missing a FIRST in Sean's life.
Sean's FIRST St. Patrick's Day!!!! Cue the tears.
OK OK so I realize that St. Patrick's day is maybe not a holiday that's intended to be celebrated by 10.5 month olds. BUT I BOUGHT HIM A THEMED SHIRT!!! It's green and yellow and says 'Shamrock and Roll" and I didn't get to put it on him. Not only that but I didn't even get to SEE it on him until 5 in the afternoon. Had I been properly celebrating this beautiful holiday I wouldn't even have been able to see straight by then!
Alas, such is the life of a working mom. Right now I have to make the most of the time we all have together until I'm running that company and can use my big, fat pay cheques to BUY their love.
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The "4 new shirts you wanted to show off" made me laugh a little bit. But aww... that's so sad. And the shirt looked good on your baby. ;)
ReplyDeleteGoing back to work sucks!! I didn't even make it to work on my first day back after having my first...I called on the way in and said I just couldn't do it yet, you know because like one more day really mattered. :) So did you get a whole YEAR off? That is an AMAZING maternity leave girlie!!
ReplyDeleteYeah in Canada you get a whole year off! I'm grateful, but it still isn't enough :P hehe
ReplyDeleteHappy SITS Saturday Sharefest! Your post brought back the awful memory of me going back to work when my son was just 11 weeks old. I was the same way the day before, I actually called my HR in tears trying to delay the return! I hope everything goes smoothly for you!
ReplyDeleteHi there.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to be done with all that.
Stopping by via SITS to say hello.
Have a great day!
http://harrietandfriends.com/
1 yr, holly bagolly!! That's awesome, but I really do feel for you. I personally couldn't do it, that's why I've chosen to nanny so I can stay with him all day. Good luck to you :)
ReplyDeleteBrandy
Thanks for your well wishes comment! I am 25 and not a mom yet, but I live with my almost 15-month old niece, who I absolutely adore. I just started working, and while it probably is not the same thing as you, I felt that pang at having to leave her home for 9.5 hours of the day (without her auntie!). I am so excited on my drive home because I know she will run to me smiling the minute I step in the door.
ReplyDeleteYour boys are beautiful, though. I am sure it must be hard to leave such cuties.
A WHOLE YEAR OFF?!?! That is nuts! But totally awesome!
ReplyDelete