Last friday my boss called me all in a panic because my maternity leave had caused my place of business to crumble down around her, and only I could right the wrongs that had been done. Either that or they needed a little extra help and didn't want to hire and train a temp to work until I was due to return in less then a month.
She talks fast and I missed some of the finer details. It really could've been either.
But regardless of the reason why, she was asking me to return to work early, and was willing to work around my husband's schedule so the kids wouldn't have to go to daycare early. I'm not sure what was possessing me, maybe a desire to have adult conversations, or the fact that I had just gotten 4 new shirts I wanted to show off, but I agreed to return on a part time basis until my official return date.
Then I hung up the phone and balled my eyes out.
What was I thinking?? Sean's not even one yet!! That means he still has lots of firsts that I could potentially miss! I knew the day would come that I would have to return to work. It was either that or usher in the day where I have to tell the kids they can't play organised sports, or have decent clothes and fun toys, or eat. And they have just become too accustomed to that hoity, toity lifestyle. But I thought I had more time to emotionally prepare myself.
It became very clear that I hadn't emotionally prepared myself Tuesday evening when I realized that my FIRST day back would mean missing a FIRST in Sean's life.
Sean's FIRST St. Patrick's Day!!!! Cue the tears.
OK OK so I realize that St. Patrick's day is maybe not a holiday that's intended to be celebrated by 10.5 month olds. BUT I BOUGHT HIM A THEMED SHIRT!!! It's green and yellow and says 'Shamrock and Roll" and I didn't get to put it on him. Not only that but I didn't even get to SEE it on him until 5 in the afternoon. Had I been properly celebrating this beautiful holiday I wouldn't even have been able to see straight by then!
Alas, such is the life of a working mom. Right now I have to make the most of the time we all have together until I'm running that company and can use my big, fat pay cheques to BUY their love.
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