Digging for Treasure

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I just saw Sawyer pick his nose, study his findings and place them safely in his pocket.

This is my life...I'm learning to choose my battles.

Happy Kind Of Birthday Hunny

Today is my dear husband's birthday. Kind of.

I say that because he was born this day in 1981, making him 29 this year. So while today is technically the anniversary of his birth, it seems that this specific birthday's only purpose is to remind his family and friends that his youth is behind him.

Today, and in the days leading up to today my husband's life has been filled with such witty and thought provoking remarks as...

'29 eh? Next year's the BIG ONE'

'Big 3-0 next year, man! It's all down hill from there.'

'29 is really just a place holder for 30 so I'm not getting you anything.'

That last one was me, but if more of you say it to him it might actually fly. And if you're not willing to do that and insist on getting him something... can I sign your card?

So while everyone else is looking towards the saggy future, I want to take a minute to acknowledge what a great, good looking, funny and sweet, YOUNGER wife you have. And I'll still be all those things next year so I guess you're not doing too bad for yourself!

Oh yeah and your kind of the greatest husband and father EVER!! So you've got that going for you too!

HAPPY ALMOST 30TH BIRTHDAY KEV!!! 

At Least I Won't Have to Worry About Him Being a Teenage Father...

Sometimes I think back to my highschool days, when I used to sit around with my girlfriends and list off the many, MANY features our dream men should have. The top of my list then, and to this day is a sense of humour. I think back to those days and those conversations and I think... SHIT.

Here is a conversation I had earlier with my almost 3 year old son.

3 year old: 'Mommy say knock-knock'

Me: 'Knock-knock'

3YO: 'Who's there?'

(alright I'm with you kid)

Me: 'Boo'

3YO: 'Boo WHAT?'

(really?!?!?!)

Me:'Nevermind... why don't you tell me a knock-knock joke?'

3YO:'Ok... Knock-knock'

Me:'Who's there?'

3YO:'Apple'

(ahhh a classic)

Me:'Apple who'

3YO:'Woof woof I'm a puppy'

Maybe it's me? Maybe his sense of humour is just too sophisticated? But I just can not find the co-relation between that apple and the dog.

But maybe that's the joke?

Maybe... but more likely??? It's lucky he's so ridiculasly good looking.

It's My Anniversary and I'll be Snotty If I Want To

As of July 1st 2010 I have been married 4 years. I celebrated this milestone by waking up in an empty house. My husband choose that day and the one before out of all the 365 days in the year to go on a kayaking trip with his father. His logic was that, since I had to work, we wouldn't get to see each other anyway. Plus he would be home in time to take me to dinner and a movie. Sound logic, sir.

But there's one little detail you did not take into consideration.

It's our anniversary so I don't have to succumb to logic. Let the guilt trips begin.

You like apples?

My kids also choose that evening to have a sleepover at Grandma's. Which brings me back to waking up in an empty house.

I spent the entire previous evening curled up in the fetal position, baseball bat in hand, because OBVIOUSLY burglars were going to choose that night to come after my wealth of broken toys and dirty laundry (the only things I have a wealth of). When I finally realized that, that would actually be a good thing (better they pick them up then I) I was able to fall asleep.

The next morning I woke up to lots of blankets, extra pillows and room to sleep in whatever position I so desired. Which I did. Through SEVERAL snooze cycles.

Then I woke up and got ONLY myself ready, just to get in the car and drive straight to work... not 20 mins out of the way (to the sitter's)  and then to work.

So I was going to make Kevin make up for this in a big way on our next anniversary, but instead I think I'll just book him another kayaking trip.

Happy Anniversary Hunny! You look as handsome now as you did on our wedding day! You totally can't even tell you have 2 kids! <3

Life Experiences

Well just yesterday Sawyer attended his second kegger (it was Sean's first awwwwwww). I know that the legal drinking age is 19, but they're going to find a way to do it anyway! So I'd really prefer if I was there to make sure that they're okay.

Naw I'm totally joking. I'm pretty sure 2.5 half is a touch young to be 'boozin' it up' (It's in the parenting manual somewhere). And besides that I've already made up my mind that I will be one of those completely oblivious mothers that doesn't notice the clanging of glass in my son's backpack as he dashes out for a 'study date at the library'.

Not that, that would happen.

My kids are perfect.

Anyways, you probably want to know why my toddlers were at a kegger. That's reasonable. It's because Kevin's cousin just turned 30. So it was a family oriented party

With a keg.

And at least one person trying to drink themselves back in time. (Unsuccessfully I might... Sorry bud, you're still 30)

Oh yeah and the first kegger Sawyer attended?  Well it all started 20 years ago when my in laws decided not to take 'family planning' very seriously and my husband ended up with siblings 9 and 10 years younger then him. So my children were born with a teenage aunt and uncle.

It makes for some interesting life experiences...

Day in the life

3:40AM - My alarm goes off. Since I'm not even sure that's a real time, I hit snooze, hoping that when it goes off again, the clock will say something much more reasonable.. like noon or something.

3:49AM - It doesn't. I get out of bed anyway.

3:50AM - I pee, and check my email. That's right kids, I multi-task at 3:50am. Try not to compare yourself to me, we're all created different and that's not your fault.

3:51-4:25ishAM - I straighten my hair, and ears and whatever else gets in my way while I'm trying to perform this activity half asleep.

4:25-4:35AM - Apply make-up. Yeah it takes me 10 whole mins, but it's worth it... I clean up good ;)

4:35AM - I sniff my jeans to see if I can get another day out of them. It's rare that I can't.

4:36AM - I irritate the piss out of Kevin by bumping into, or stubbing my toe on everything in our bedroom, in an attempt to find my clothes and get dressed in the dark (you know, so I don't bother him).

4:45AM - I start looking for my keys.

4:55AM - I wake Kevin up to ask him if he's seen my keys.

4:55.5AM - He asks if they're on the kitchen table. I say that's the first place I looked.

4:50AM - I start stomping around the house and making aggravated noises.

4:51AM - Kevin gets out of bed and finds my keys on the kitchen table. I accuse him of planting them there just to make an ass out of me. He totally would too.

4:52-5:05 - I load the car with diaper bags, lunches and kids.

5:15 - I stop at Tim Horton's. Obvs! It's 5:15 *EH AM* and I'm Canadian.

5:30 - Arrive at the babysitters. You all know that story! 

5:45AM - 2:30PM - Get berated and walked all over.

2:45PM - Arrive at babysitters and immediately start making empty promises to get my kids in the car.

3:05PM - Arrive at home and feel the wrath of my empty promises.

3:05PM - 8PM - Laundry, cleaning, cooking, ICarly watching, eating, baths.

Just kidding! Anyone who works full-time, with 2 toddlers who says they do all that is lying. Or a robot. Probably a robot.

8PM - 8:30PM - Convince Sawyer there's nothing to be afraid of in his room, and disappoint him repeatedly by telling him he can't sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room. That is apparently, the absolute worst news you can give a 2 year old.

8:30PM - Shower.

9PM - Sit down and spend some time with Kevin, because I like to run off at the mouth and say things like, "Without the love Kevin and I formed in the beginning, we wouldn't even have kids. So I feel like one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is to take care of that relationship." And then people are all "Awww that's so true!" So I feel obligated to back it up by sitting in the same room as him while watching assorted forensic investigation shows <3. You're welcome kids!

10:30/11:00 - Stumble around the house just praying that I end up in bed before I fall asleep.


Now I want you to know that I'm not telling you this as an excuse for why I blog so infrequently. I'm telling you this for the pity and sympathy. Let me have. I mean really lay it on thick.

And use words like 'unbelievable', 'incredible' and 'sassy'

Thanks!

What?!?! None Of You Thought To Warn Me?

Sometimes I just have to sit back and look in awe at my own stupidity.

Not only do I let myself think "I wish Sawyer wanted to stay with me instead of going to the babysitters!" I actually sit my ass down and WRITE IT DOWN FOR THE WHOLE FRICKIN WORLD TO SEE.

I mean, COME ON. Have I never heard the phrase 'be careful what you wish for???'

I was just BEGGING for that to come back and bite me in the ass. Really.

So NOW instead of him being psyched to have a fun day with friends and me feeling a sense contentment I have to push him off me, look him in those little blue eyes, while he's screaming and BEGGING me to stay and walk out the door.

Yeah that's way better IDIOT!

Then you know what that child does to me? Looks me right back in the eye when I pick him up and tells me that he doesn't want to go with me. He wants to stay.

Of course you do kid.

Because any other way would ease the guilt.

Paying the Price

I just took out the garbage, which in and of itself, is newsworthy.

But it gets better. 

As I'm hauling the bag out of the garbage can I happen to notice a cupcake. Upon closer inspection I find that there are, in fact, 3 cupcakes in the garbage. 

Oh it get's even better...

ALL of the cupcakes have the icing and sprinkles gnawed of the top. TODDLER STYLE!

You may take this time to judge me for not keeping a closer eye on my child. I'll be spending the evening peeling him off the wall.

The Fastest Year Of My Life

One year ago today we discovered that Sawyer had broken my camera.

We discovered it at 8:29am when we tried to use it to take a picture of his newborn baby brother.

Somehow, between that moment and today, a whole year disappeared.

Since Sean only started sleeping through the night like last week, most of this past year is a blur to me. Soooo instead of a long profound post about how having a second child has changed my life and how complete Sean has made me feel, I'm going to post a glimpse into his life thus far through photos.

Here's the photo we used to introduce Sean to facebook. MEANINGFUL!

They're all mine <3

The day Sean met his big cuz Gavin. I'm just going to have to go ahead and apologize now to all of you ladies out their having little girls... I can only hold these heartbreakers back for so long. They're going to be bigger then Bieber.

About a month after Sean was born a good friend (from Mandy Taggart Photography) took some professional shots of the fam. If you look closely at this one you can see the wet spot on the dark blanket where Sean peed.

If you look closely at this one, well ok, I guess you don't have to look that closely.

                                    

And this one? This one made up for all that....

Don't worry, he had his H1N1 immunizations before we threw him in there.

                                              

Soaking up the sun in Cuba. Don't hate him cuz you ain't him.

'What do you mean I got Daddy's hairline?'

And here he is today...

How if you`ll excuse me, I have to go cry myself to sleep over how fast they`re growing up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN! WE LOVE YOU!

A Revelation

It has been brought to my attention that while I have found a couple reasons to keep Sawyer (he LIKES doing housework -maternity test pending- AND he thinks I'm a superhero), but not little Sean. So basically I'm looking for your best offer. I accept cash, credit and money order.

I kid. I kid.

I now realize why I've kept Sean around so long.

He loves me!

Don't get me wrong, Sawyer loves me, but he is a social animal. Every morning I take them to the sitter's and Sawyer waltzes in, throws his jacket on the ground and get's straight to being the life of the party. When I pick him up in the afternoon, I have to drag him away from his 3 year old friends, kicking and screaming.

Even once I've got him all settled at home with a little mountain of easter candy (don't judge me - I've got a 2 year old's love to win here), he still spends our precious few hours together asking when we're going back to the sitter's house.

But Sean, my sweet, little, baby Sean, balls his eyes out when I drop him off, then greets me with a huge smile and outstretched arms when I pick him up.

He knows how to treat a mommy right!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some changes to make on my will!

Sean's Got Moves!!

I'm am absolutely not just posting this video, because going back to work has made me cranky and tired, and any post I made in this state would be uninteresting or illogical.

It's just too cute not to share!

Potty Training Tips

Here are a list of things I've learned on our potty training journey. Hopefully these tips will help make your journey a little a bit smoother.

1) Do NOT buy cute little underpants with a large, colourful, appealing image on the rear. It will result in a very long, drawn out argument with your toddler about whether of not you have put these underpants on backwards. An argument that will lead your toddler to questions your capabilities as a caregiver, in turn causing an emotional  breakdown in both parties, and finally ending in chronic bed wetting in one or both of you. Kind of counter productive, huh?

2)Do NOT allow your child to roam the house naked. Friends of ours insisted that the only way they were able to get their child to stop wetting his pants was to strip him down to his birthday suit and set him loose. Apparently it worked like a charm for them. I jumped all over this method. I was all like 'You mean he'll use the potty AND I won't have to go through the hassle of actually dressing my child?!?!? uhhh SCORE!!!" I don't know what I was thinking. I just hope that I actually FOUND all the little puddles.

3)DO sit down and have a lengthy discussion with your child about reducing the size of their carbon footprint. They're either filling up the dumps with their dirty diapers or wasting one of our non renewable resources with the 18 loads of laundry your doing everyday. And really, what toddler doesn't respond positively to a good healthy political debate?

4)And finally, corn does NOT break down in the digestive system. This is not so much a tip as a.. let's say... heads up.

DISCLAIMER: I have not, in fact, successfully potty trained any children. Although I have tried, unsuccessfully, on several occasions, so I will maintain that I am, in fact, an authority on the matter.

Happy Easter!!

I have got some bad news for any moms out there that were holding out hope for a 'World's Greatest Mom' mug this Easter, because I totally swooped in and scooped that title this weekend.

I washed all our sheets and towels and hung them on the line to dry (we also turned off the bought air and opened all the windows... take THAT hydro bill), had a picnic lunch on the lawn with my family, and helped my son learn to ride his bike!

So that mug's mine SUCKAS almost as deserving fellow Mamas! Better luck next year!

There was only one little snag in our otherwise perfect day.

On our walk around the block Sawyer and I spotted a dead squirrel.

"What's that Mommy?"

"Don't worry about it hunny"

"That's the Easter Bunny!"

"Aw Jeez"

Image from http://everythingeaster.com

Happy Easter Everyone!!

Pardon Me?!?!?!

So I glance over at Sawyer earlier this afternoon and the kid has his GAME FACE on.

Glazed over eyes.

Pursed lips

Clenched jaw.

Bright red face.

You know the look.

I'm forced to ask a question I don't really want the answer to, "Are you pooping bud?"

He snapped out of his trance, fixed his steely glare on me and announces...

"I need PRIVACY mommy!"

Well Sawyer, to that I say, you can poop without an audience when I can.

One of Those Days

5 Months 16 Days 23 Hours 44 Mins until we're out of the terrible twos.

Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal!!

Sometimes I wonder how I'm even able to stand upright. You know, without a spine and stuff.

Case in point...

Today I went to get a very overdue eyebrow wax. Like birds had taken up residence in the out of control nests over my eyes, kind of overdue.

That's not important to the story. Just makes for an interesting visual.

Anyways, so I'm right in the middle of having the hair ripped off my face when the waxer's friend waltzes into the room and strikes up a conversation. Which, leads to the total distraction of said waxer, leading her to DRIP HOT WAX INTO MY EYE?!?!?!

Uhhh lady? I don't think that goes there.

If you're anything like my sister, your immediate reaction to that is, 'I hope you didn't pay for that.'

Oh yes... I did.

'Eight bucks for the partial blinding? No Problem! Here's 10... keep the change!'

At least I can be thankful it was only my eyebrows I was waxing!

101 in 1001 Update #10

I feel like since it's my TENTH update it should be somthing momentus. Like it should come with a huge giveaway, or like.. commerative t-shirts or something. That's actually really good... I'm going to keep that in mind for my 100th. I'd place your order now, I have a feeling the demand for these tees is going to be OUT OF CONTROL. Plus it's probably going to have a pic of me on it, and you don't want to miss the opportunity to proudly display my face on your chest.

I digress.

My tenth update will not include commemorative tees, but at least I actually accomplished some stuff. Which is good because it would've been pretty embarrassing to have nothing since I've been MIA for 3 weeks.

So without further ado...

44)Get a Drastic Haircut

I think this may have been a symptom of my quater life crisis, but it totally backfired because I ended up with 'Mom Hair'.

Long <strike>hair</strike> story short, I had long dark hair and then this happened....



and now I don't.



70)Win the Lottery

Now don't go making up stories about how we're distant relatives or old grade school buddies or whatever, because I already spent the $20.

On more lottery tickets.

Which I lost on.


79)Do Our Taxes on Time

Yes we did get a return and yes it is already spent.

On more lottery tickets.

Just kidding.

Kind of.


I'm actually pretty sure I've crossed something else off the list as well, but I'm so terrified of jinxing it that I'm going to have to refrain from bragging about it this week.

If you'd like to see the entire updated list you can find it HERE or over there -----> somewhere.

Actually

Recently my husband let it slip to the family that I have a blog. Presumably because he was looking for an easy out  bursting with pride and adoration. Since that time they have been dying to click over here and find I've made them famous by posting about them.

They haven't said as much, but they don't have to.

I can see it their eyes.

So here it is kids. You can thank me with gifts. Expensive ones.

My absolute favourite thing about my family knowing about my little corner of the internet is, without a doubt, their ability to work it into ANY conversation.

ME: Sean FINALLY cut a tooth.
Family Member: I know. I saw the post about it on your blog. He's having a rough time with it, eh?

Family Member #1: We got the kids some treats.
Family Member #2: Careful, you'll end up being blamed for childhood obesity! (Touche)

ME: How was your day?
Family Member: YOU HAVE A BLOG!!

They also thoroughly enjoy the deep shade of red my face turns when they tell anyone who will listen about the existence of this blog. And they ALWAYS follow up that revelation with the phrase, "It's ACTUALLY really good." Don't worry family, I'm not reading into your emphasize of the word ACTUALLY.

But in completely unrelated news, I will ACTUALLY be putting the money I planned to use for your birthday presents this year towards a new laptop good charity. Because I know you'd ACTUALLY like it that way! Your welcome!

Beautiful Blogger

So while I had been gallivanting around ignoring my blog, I actually received a couple of awards from some  awesome, much more dedicated, fellow bloggers. So I'm going to post about them one at a time... you know... cause I'm desperate for content.


So without further ado...

The first award is the Beautiful Blogger Award. 


I was able to scam this award by not posting photos of myself on this blog. However, I'm going to frame it and put it up in the bedroom like I won a Miss Universe pageant, because of my strong performance in the swimsuit portion. Don't judge me.


This little confidence burst was sent over my way from Gnetch over at Thank Goodness For The Good Ones . Now I think that's an awesome title... she thinks it's too long. And possibly more suited to a porn site. If anything that fact is just leaving her room to grow! So do me a favour and go over there and tell her how awesome her blog title and CONTENT are. But be prepared to get pranked a time or to if you stick around :P


Of course, as with any good thing, there's a catch to this award. There's rules. I have to tell you 7 things you don't know about me and choose 7 fabulous bloggers to award this award.


So stick with me here guys...


Seven Things You Don't Know About Me


1)I have a little nick out of my left ear. My mother used to tell me that it's where the stork bit me. I know right?!? Too cute. 


2)Following that theme, I also have a dent on my temple that's the result of the chicken pox. My Grandfather used to tell me it's because I was shot in the head and don't remember. I know right?!?! Little creepy Gramps.


3)We call boogers, piggies. I know it's only number 3 and I'm really struggling. My son is sitting in the corner picking his nose, I guess he's my muse.


4)I LOVE LOVE LOVE the musical stylings of Will Smith. And I mean LOVE. This white girl can make a total fool of herself rapping EVERY word to EVERY one of his songs.


5)My worst fear is of something bad happening to my kids. A close second is that the little girl from The Ring is real. 


6)It has taken me LITERALLY weeks to finish this post, and I still had to cop out and use that as a point on the list. 


Now it's time to give it up!


1)Jen @ My Inner Foodzilla This award goes not only to her, but also  to her very well dressed pillow.


2)Connie @ ConnieDom She's off on some adventure for the month which gives you plenty of time to have a look around her place and prepare yourself for all the awesome she'll be bringing back with her.


3)Laura @ The Bignell Family Her family photos are ADORABLE and as if having cute kids isn't enough, she has Uncle Jesse doing the beach boys on blog playlist!


4)Lilly @ A Lil Story I live for her 'Not Me Monday' posts. I thought I had my hands full with my 2 boys. She has 3, 2 of which are TWINS! Makes for some fun reads!


5)Vic @ A Little Bit of Vic Her knack for finding great products has been a definite problem for my shopping addiction!


Alright that's all this award can suck out of me! It sure beat doing the laundry though!

Work Hard, Play Hard

Last friday my boss called me all in a panic because my maternity leave had caused my place of business to crumble down around her, and only I could right the wrongs that had been done. Either that or they needed a little extra help and didn't want to hire and train a temp to work until I was due to return in less then a month.

She talks fast and I missed some of the finer details. It really could've been either.

But regardless of the reason why, she was asking me to return to work early, and was willing to work around my husband's schedule so the kids wouldn't have to go to daycare early. I'm not sure what was possessing me, maybe a desire to have adult conversations, or the fact that I had just gotten 4 new shirts I wanted to show off, but I agreed to return on a part time basis until my official return date.

Then I hung up the phone and balled my eyes out.

What was I thinking?? Sean's not even one yet!! That means he still has lots of firsts that I could potentially miss! I knew the day would come that I would have to return to work. It was either that or usher in the day where I have to tell the kids they can't play organised sports, or have decent clothes and fun toys, or eat. And they have just become too accustomed to that hoity, toity lifestyle. But I thought I had more time to emotionally prepare myself.

It became very clear that I hadn't emotionally prepared myself Tuesday evening when I realized that my FIRST day back would mean missing a FIRST in Sean's life.

Sean's FIRST St. Patrick's Day!!!! Cue the tears.

OK OK so I realize that St. Patrick's day is maybe not a holiday that's intended to be celebrated by 10.5 month olds. BUT I BOUGHT HIM A THEMED SHIRT!!! It's green and yellow and says 'Shamrock and Roll" and I didn't get to put it on him. Not only that but I didn't even get to SEE it on him until 5 in the afternoon. Had I been properly celebrating this beautiful holiday I wouldn't even have been able to see straight by then!

Alas, such is the life of a working mom. Right now I have to make the most of the time we all have together until I'm running that company and can use my big, fat pay cheques to BUY their love.

Apologies, Excuses and Stomach Contents

I know you've heard it all from me before.

I have a really good reason.

I can change. I WILL change.

I mean it this time.

I know you feel like you're setting yourself up for disappointment by putting your trust in me again.

I understand and together we can mend the wound I've left you with.

One.Post.At.A.Time.

Because I am for real this time back in the game.

Here are my excuses reasons I found it acceptable to make it to march 15th and only have 2 posts for the month.

1) My children look like this...

(Oh get off your high horse. I HAD to take a pic of my sick child because he looked so.freaking.cute.)


This, of course, is Sean, but Sawyer is sporting a very similar look made even sadder with the addition of his stomach contents running down his chin and jammies.

*That picture alone wasn't enough to guilt you in to forgiving me? Have you no soul?? Fine...

2)For whatever reason I got it into my head that I HAD to post a 101 update before anything else. And since that post has to include a picture of my haircut, and I don't have time for such trivial things as, 'looking acceptable', I could not possibly create that post. Thankfully however, I realized that no one is really interested in those posts but me, and have decided that it's ok for me to write about something else until my next good hair day. Rest assured though, that those updates WILL return.

And so concludes my extensive list of reasons I've slacked off.

Now stop pretending your mad at me and give me a little looooove!

I'm Back

Well I got a new laptop.

Kind of.

I got one of those little piles of crap mini laptops.

From a bulk mini laptop store.

On ebay.

For $100.

So you know. YOU KNOW. I've acquired myself a fine piece of machinary here.

I got it in red in hopes that a unique colour would make it seems more trendy and... stuff.

Trust me when I say NO ONE will make that mistake.

Oh well,  at least I'm back.

R.I.P. Mac

My husband thought that I should let everyone know why my blog has SUCKED lately. This is how he phrased it.. 'You should let your fans know where you are!' He's delightful :P

So where I have been is... without a computer. My 'son' (we're waiting on the maternity test) spilled a coffee on my laptop. Oh yes he did. And when I took it to the repair shop to see if there was anything that could be done, the kind gentlemen praised me on my coffee choice based on the computer's aroma then told me I was effed.

Basically I've got myself a really expensive air freshener. Thanks Sean.

So I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a little while til I get back up and running. I'll try to make it worth the wait!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!!

Sorry I haven't been around much! I've been super busy with it being my BIRTHDAY friday and all. I'm going to go ahead and assume you all didn't forget and that my super awesome, expensive, sparkly gift is in the mail. Awww thanks.... you shouldn't have!

So like I said I've been soooo busy this weekend, seeing as my birthday brought along with it, what is commonly referred to as a 'quarter life crisis'. It probably doesn't help that my husband had made it his personal mission to pump me up for this momentous occasion by drilling it into my head that 25 is the year that I OFFICIALLY become a cougar. Sorry ladies... he's taken.

He thought he was pretty hilarious until he remembered that a cougar is woman who is on the prowl for hot, energetic, eager, young men....

Who's laughing now hunny?!?!

ME-OW!!!

101 in 1001 Update #9

I was desperate to not have to come up with yet ANOTHER clever way to confess that I'd had another disappointing week, so I went and tried something drastic. A whole day with no time outs (#93), then my sister reminded me that I had...

94)Visit(ed) a family member when it's not a family function.

Thank goodness - "Sawyer stop licking your feet or you're going to time out....1......2.....3 timeout!"

But yeah...

Just yesterday we had a playdate with my cousin-in-law and her oh so handsome son Adam. I have to say I was shocked to see how much this little dude has come out his shell since the last time we saw him! In visits past he could've taken Sean in a "Mommy Suckie" competition, and Sean takes that title VERY seriously. But this visit he was Mr. Social and I was even able to scam some snuggles! SCORE!


Now you're going to have to induldge me and look at pics of my handsome men and their handsome second cousin, once removed? I think?

Oh and OF COURSE the batteries were dead in my camera. So I'mma go ahead and give credit where it's due.... Photos By Lisa :)

Oh yeah... You can see the original list HERE and over there ------> (somewhere)

A Little Birdie Told Me...

Well I went and got myself a twitter account.

Image from: www.wpdone.com/.../ practika-twitter-bird.png

I figured since it's only so long before I become an internet sensation, I might as well start acting like a celebrity! Plus, it turns out the idea of stalking real other celebrities from the comfort of my couch is very appealing to me.

Anywho.... if your dream is to know about every breath I take then your dreams have come true (yeah I'm going to be that kind of tweeter (tweeter?? Is that the right term?))

Skunks Got Stink, My Kids Got Cute

My kids are cute. 

Sometimes that's the only reason we're all able to come out the other side of the day in one piece.

For example... 

Today I discovered that Sawyer's first language is not, in fact, english, but whining. AND he had decided to use his influence as a big brother to teach Sean the beauty of this ancient language. Mommy needs vodka earplugs.

Then when I was taking out the garbage and desperately trying to resist the urge to take them out with it, Sawyer waltzes over to me and says, "Hi SuperMommy".

Right then and there I decided to keep him, because I know, I KNOW he said it because he appreciates all the little things I do for him everyday and felt that I truly deserved the title. It was absolutely NOT because one of his favourite cartoon characters had become a caped crime fighter, seemingly by just adding super to the front of his name.  

There may be hope for my kids yet, I mean, they DO have a SuperMommy!

101 in 1001 Update #8

Not only did I not do a thing off the list this week... I also forgot to write the update?? For shame!! 

So I decided that it was time to really buckle down and replace #47 (Remember number fourty seven? and the trouble I've had replacing it?)

So here it is...

Are you ready for it?

I hope your psyched because this is going to be LEGON-

And I hope none of you are lactose intolerant because the last part of that word is.....

DAIRY!!!! (In case you're wondering, YES Barney Stinson is going to be my second husband! I can change him!!)

#47)Be the SITS feature blogger

So for anyone that doesn't know SITS (The Secret's in the Sauce) is an online community of wonderful supportive ladies that come together everyday to show a little love through blog comments. And just to keep it interesting every week day the founders of SITS (Tiffany and Heather) choose a featured Blogger to bask in the glow of comment love.

I WANT THAT LOVE!!! 

So here's the plan. I'm going to wait a little while, get a few more quality posts under my belt and then I'm going to start emailing those poor women until they have no choice other then to block me. That's where you come in... If you all send requests for me, they'll be all like 

"Well we didn't find her interesting... but maybe she's an acquired taste? Whatever... we'll just give her day so we can lift the restraining order."

And I'll be all like'

"They love me!! I'm awesome!!!"

Sometimes my genious astounds even me! 

So in all seriousness SITS is a really kick ass community of some really kick ass ladies! So if you haven't already, get over there and make yourself some SITSTAS!

An Open Letter To Sean's Teeth

Sean's Teeth,

I'm not going to mention that you're so late, I'm not even sure why you bothered to show up.

Or that there should be like 4 or 5 by now and only 1 of you is making it's way in.

I'm writing this to let you know you need to stop bullying my baby! He's trying to be a big, tough guy and not mention anything, but I can see how much what you're doing is getting to him. He just wants to sleep all day and when he's awake he's grouchy and irritable. He's so upset by your complete disregard for his well being that he's made him self sick and feverish. You should be ashamed.

I want you to know that the choices you make have consequences and right now Sean is dealing with those consequences. But EFF.WHY.EYE. if you don't ease up on him, I'll make sure you're the one dealing with those consequences! And I have no idea how you don't want to know how!

Oh and tell all your little buddies to get their butts in gear so we can get this all over with!

Anyways, I hope you're doing well!

Sean's Exhausted Mommy

Pretty Sure They're Conspiring Against Me

So I just finished lowering the mattress in Sean's crib. I know what you're thinking, I should of done this months ago because one night I'll stroll in to his room and finding him standing up in his crib moments away from proving the size of his 'kahunas' by throwing himself over the edge of the crib rail and yeah I'd get there in time to save him but the damage will have already have been done and I'll be so paranoid that I'll tuck him into bed with us and that will suck cause he's a bed hog!

Dude, you totally think in some SERIOUS run on sentences.

Anyways it's funny that you would think that because that is EXACTLY how my night went. Weird.

At first it was all sweet snuggles like when he was a little baby, but it quickly turned into me teetering on the very edge of the bed by one butt cheek. So you know, that was a good night sleep.

So then around 6:30 the little bugger wakes up and I frantically do whatever it takes to get him back to sleep, because at 7 Kevin gets up for work and then I can sneak onto his side of the bed.

Enter Sawyer. Literally.

He claims he had a nightmare. Fine.

Kevin graciously gets out of bed early so that we'll all fit. Fine.

I get all snuggled up under the covers FINALLY. Way more then fine.

Sawyer says 'Aww Sean sleeping' and POKES him awake?? Not fine, kid! NOT FINE.

Long story short, if you're looking for me, I'll be the one with the bags under her eyes desperately trying to force my kids to nap. Wish me luck!

101 in 1001 Update #7

So I did absolutely nothing this week. At first I was all bummed out and then I was all like "Dude that means I don't have to write a long post." Which was good cause we PVR'd LOST and it meant I could sit back and enjoy it.

ENJOY?!?!

I forgot what watching Lost is like. Ugh, this show makes me crazy!

Want to see everything I didn't get done this week? Find the original list HERE of as always, over there ----> somewhere

Over The Top

Where's my blog?

OVER THE TOP!

But don't take my word for it.... check out my shiny FIRST EVER award!




Awarded to me by the gorgeous Ms Vic over at A Little Bit of This. After you read this you are going to want to swing by her place and leave her some love, let me tell you why. Ms V writes straight from the heart. If she's happy, sad, angry or frustrated that's what you're going to get out of her blog.. she's the real deal kids. And besides all that she's someone you're going to want on your side. Not only does she take a little time everyday to leave some love for her blog peeps, she knows how to handle an anonymous commentor. Just saying.

Now it my understanding that this award comes with some responsiblities. It wants to know what makes me happy... specifically my top 10 happy makers. No problem.

They are, in no particular order;

MY KIDS - Here's the part where I go all sappy mommy on your ass'. Everyday I thank the powers that be that Kevin and I changed our minds about having kids. Sawyer and Sean are, without a doubt, the greatest things I've ever had a part in. The are the smartest, funniest, handsomest, charmingest kids to ever grace this universe with their presence. Don't worry, your kids are like a close second. ;)

MY HUSBAND - Bet you didn't see that coming. I try to be that strong, independent, has it all together Mom that can run her house like clockwork while making cookies in her high heels or whatever, but somehow I always seem to be in need of rescuing. Like the time I got the gas cap stuck in our car and needed him to come all the way out to the gas station so I could fill our tank. He came rolling around the corner before I even had a chance to hang up the phone, popped the cap out, kissed me goodbye and jumped back in his truck. As if it was perfectly normal and not at all inconvenient to have to come all the way to a gas station to apply a little elbow grease to a gas cap. Plus he looks like this...

Hubba Hubba

3) So we've covered my kids and my husband so what's the obvious third? CHIPS. I could eat chips ALL DAY LONG if they wouldn't clog my arteries and make me 400lbs. Why must the best things in life be so bad for you.

4) Of course my wonderful FRIENDS. Not to get all serious on you here, but one thing I've noticed about being a mom is that it can really make you lose yourself. My friends remind that while being Mommy is a huge part of my life there's a little bit more to me! Plus they're like, totally hot!

5) ICarly - Don't judge me. That shit's hilarious!

6) MY FAMILY - Kevin and I are very lucky to be very close (not necessarily geographically close) to both our families. Sawyer and Sean mean the world to their grandparents, aunts and uncles and I know that they're going to be better men for it.

7) DAYDREAMING - I spend so much of my time up in the clouds sometimes it takes me a minute to remember that I'm NOT actually a millionaire, living in a huge mansion with a butler, cook and housekeeper (yet) and so, yes I do have to do the laundry. Ugh... sometimes reality blows.

8) THE BABY FROM THE E-TRADE COMMERCIALS - That kids like what? One? One and half? Sawyer's well over 2 and a half and hasn't made a cent off the stock market! What am I doing wrong?!?! WHAT?

9)PHOTOGRAPHY - I really, really wish I had figured this out at 18 but whatevs. Inventory control is totally sucking the life out of me just as fulfilling.

10) MY BLOG - Seemed kinda mandatory to add this to a list on said blog. Plus it's kick ass.

Man, for a minute there I didn't think I was going to make it out the other side of that list. But here we are. So the second responsibility is to pass this bad boy on to some other "Over the Top Bloggers"

No problem!

Randelle - She's hanging out at 'A Simple Kinda Life'. As of right now she's mostly blogging about her '101 in 1001' list, but maybe if you all head over there and leave a little love she'll start up the 'Make-Up Monday' segment she's been threatening to start. The girl can do MAGIC with a makeup brush.

Angie - The title of her blog says it all. Mom to QT's and they so are. She's got the million dollar family, a 2 and a half year old little boy and a 3 month old little angel girl. And just because raising a toddler and newborn aren't enough of a challenge, she's a WAHM and she's blogging about 2 BIG challenges ('101 in 1001' and the 365 project) and just to really rub it in... she always looks glamorous doing it. Try not to hate on her! hehe

Kandice - I've lead you over to her Photography Blog before. If you weren't hanging around then; first of all, I'm glad you've seen the light and you're here now. Second of all go check it out! She, and the adorable babies she photographs will rock your socks off. But she has a personal side too! So go check out Wait! It's All About The Numbers and follow her journey from fab mommy to smaller fab mommy. And while you're over there click on the little Top Mommy Button at the bottom of her page and sky rocket her to number one.

Last but not least... Delena - So far her blog has been about her love/hate realationship with sleep pregnancy, but literally any minute now it's going to be about her love/hate relationship with sleep transition into motherhood. So head over to Who Really Knows What's Next and be there right from the first breath.

So that's it kids. If anyone else wants it go ahead and swipe it. I totally meant to give you one anyway!

P.S. Yeah I know I didn't post yesterday, so starting today....

Major Suckage

Hey, you remember that time we got in a car accident because the city doesn't salt the damn roads?

I do. It was yesterday.

And here's why it sucked;

1) It was a car accident

2) I'm a total hypochondriac and so when Sean cried after we hit the car OF COURSE it was because he had been seriously injured and NOT because two cars making contact is a touch noisy. It was a little fender bender.

3) Insurance companies SUCK, and ours even has the balls to not take claims on weekends. You know because car accidents don't happen on weekends. No wait, yeah they do........ apparently.

4) The gentleman in the back seat of the car we slid into, with the bloodshot eyes, emerged from the smoke billowing out of their can to inform us that he had whiplash. Of course.

5) WE WERE LATE FOR MY NEPHEW'S FIRST BIRTHDAY! GRRRR!!

So basically if you had an accident planned for yourself or a loved one.... seriously give some thought to calling it off. THEY SUCK.

Christmas in January - Don't Hate

Well I've started my Christmas shopping.

Yes I do have a calendar. Why? Were you looking to pick me up a little something? A calendar would be nice, I guess. I should tell you though that I'm in the market for a new pair of shoes. Recently the sole of my L.A.M.B. shoes just fell right off. UGH annoying! I loved those shoes and besides that I once saw a picture of Paris Hilton checking the same pair of shoes (in white) at LAX. I wonder if the sole fell off her shoes?!

I digress.

The malls have some FAN-TAS-TIC sales on all their winter stuff right now. And so being the shopaholic super well prepared, got it all together mom I am I picked up some clothes and pj's.

Well that's it! That's the whole story. You want me to blog every day that's the quality of work you're going to receive. No one said life was fair.

New House Fever

I have a MAY-JOR case of house fever. What?! That's a totally legit medical term. I know it is because I googled it, and if it wasn't real I wouldn't have been able to find THIS or THIS. Please don't question my integrity again mmkay?

Seriously ALL I THINK ABOUT is getting a new house! I spend all day on MLS either looking at houses that are way more then we can afford and finding flaws with them. Or looking up houses in our neighbourhood and listing reasons why their houses SUCK and ours could sell for like $100 000 more then they've listed theirs for. So you know, real productive.

This morning I approached Kevin with my desire to upgrade our current living conditions, hoping my fever was contagious.

It is not.

APPARENTLY we have a lot more work to do on our little home and APPARENTLY since he does all of the handy work and renovations he gets to set the timeline for when that work will be finished and APPARENTLY a week and half is unreasonable.

Whatevs. I'm going to go try and sleep this fever off.

Operation Name Change

Did you ever watch the show Alias?



You totally should. Besides being an action packed, sexy, witty, thrill ride, it's also where Bradley Cooper got his start. Yeah... the hottie from The Hangover.



I have a reason for bringing all this up. Well 2 reasons. One was just so I could post a pic of Bradley Cooper. Your Welcome.

The second reason is that lately I've been giving a lot of thought to removing my kids names from my blog and giving them (and Kevin and I) alias'. As of right now our last name is need to know (and you don't need to know) and our location is totally top secret.

So is giving us alias' a little over the top? Normally I'd say yes, but my kids are REALLY cute. Like way above average.

So what's holding me back? Laziness Time constraints. Giving them alias' means going back through all 42 of my previous posts and changing ours names. Ugh.

So I'm torn.

Would you be more inclined to read a blog about Sawyer and Sean or Monkey and Booger?





Oh oh....
And this guys was on Alias too.



Right?!?!

101 in 1001 Update #6

What did I cross off the list this week.....?

26) Get Drunk

And you thought I had no life outside my kids. Well I don't, but every once in a while my fabulous friends get sick of me saying things like "I have to go potty' or complaining about my ouchies, and insist on taking me out to do grown up things.

This week's grown up thing was heading out to the bar. For the first time in 3 years. Why yes, I am that cool.

You'd think that crossing this particular item off the list would come with some awesome material, but mostly it was just some great girl time.

We laughed, danced and got hit on a little. What more can you ask for!



**BONUS** I wasn't the only to cross something off my 101 list that night... keep an eye on THIS BLOG for an update on her list. Plus I hear you may get some of the dirty details from her anniversary celebrations ;) ENJOY

You know the drill... updated list HERE or over there ---->

April Showers bring..... FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC Blog Designs

So you'll all remember that about a month ago I packed up all my stuff and moved from wordpress to blogger.

I believe I was partially honest and admitted that it was because I am shallow and wanted more freedom to beautify my blog. While that is the truth there is, as there always is, more to the story.

I had stumbled upon April of April Shower's Blog Design and had fallen truly, madly and deeply in love (with her designs? with her? It's all a blur). I couldn't keep my feelings all bottled up any longer and sent her an email, only to find this heartbreaking reply in my inbox hours later...

Hey Katherine!

Sadly I'm only able to install Blogger designs! I wish I knew how to do wordpress though! If you are able to install say, a header, by yourself then I could totally design something for you. It's just the "install" part that I don't know how to do!

April Durham

Please visit my site at
www.aprilshowersblogdesign.com



So I moved to blogger... was it creepy and obsessive ? Absolutely I don't think so! What choice did I have?

Well since then I've been pinching my pennies and stalking occasionally checking in on her blog and facebook fan page,

You're probably wondering why I'm telling you all this. It's because this morning I received the answer to my prayers.... an April Showers giveaway!

If she gets to 400 facebook fans before Friday, January 29th at 5pm MT she will give away TWO $100 gift certificates to TWO lucky winners!

So get your ass over there and become a fan! Then head over to her site and start dreaming big blog design dreams.

But if I catch you giving me some competition on the contest... we're going to have some words. All I'm saying!


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME WIN!!!!!!

Love Hurts

Before I met my husband I dated a few guys. Nothing serious, And I was able to avoid ever being dumped.

I met Kevin at 19 and was married at 21. The past 5 years we've been together have been wonderful. Being with him makes me feel safe, strong and beautiful!

Basically, I thought I had avoided feeling the gut wrenching pain of a boy breaking my heart.

Until tonight.

My sweet, golden haired little angel, announced (upon being tucked into bed against his will) "No love you Mommy'

Ugh, I feel nauseous :S

Starting Today....

What you thought I was serious about blogging everyday for 30 days?

That was just a complete fail drill. You know, to make sure you can handle all my awesomeness.

Feel like you're prepared.

Alright, starting today (mondays are better day to start things of this nature anyway) I will blog everyday day for a month. Your welcome.


In other news? I think I felt a tooth in Sean's mouth! Finally!

For months, every time Sean's gone into one of his diva-esque fits, someone would make the announcement... 'He must be teething', and I would swell with pride. Growing his very own teeth?? This proves it... he's a genius! He's going to be a doctor you know... going to cure cancer, and alzhiemers, and male pattern baldness!

Then a few weeks would pass with out any further signs that we could start adding steak to his menu. I would be struck with the realization that it was probably just gas... again.

Until this morning.

He's probably a few years away joining the research department at Rogaine, but I'm pretty sure I felt a tooth!

However this means I will be abondoning my work on baby dentures. My apologies!




P.S. Don't hate on my digital doodling